Right now I'm laying in the bed thinking about how much has changed within the past year.
A year ago, I had just found out I was pregnant. My husband and I were moving into our new townhome apartment. I had just got a new job that paid well. Everything was looking really good.
But within a year my husband's company closed and he lost his job. I got laid off while on maternity leave. And instead of moving into a home of our own like we had planned to, we have to move to a relatives house because we can no longer afford rent. My husband has found work, but it's a lot less than what he was making.
And I know on the last post I was talking about my husband not doing anything for Mother's Day, but the truth is, we couldn't afford it anyway. I guess I really didn't realize how bad it was until I woke up this morning beside my child, in my relatives bed, surrounded by boxes with our stuff in it. Then I get a message from my husband saying we have overdrawn. I honestly don't know what were going to do for food this week. Luckily for my son, I breastfeed. But if I don't eat, how can I produce milk for him?
I have faith we will make it through this rough time. And I know once we do, it will only make our bond as a family stronger. But until then, I have to stay strong. Strong to support my husband when he has a bad day from doing tough work for poor pay. Strong to be there for my child who knows nothing of the world and our troubles, just that he's hungry and needs a diaper change. Strong to be able to smile at both of them, and hide my sadness inside.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mothers Day
Today was my first Mothers Day. My first being a mother that is. Like most new mothers, I envisioned waking up to breakfast in bed, being taken to an early dinner, then spending the rest of the day with my child and husband. And of course given a card and flowers.
So, when my husband woke up two hours after me, refused to help get the baby dressed, and my breakfast consisted of a bowl of dry Kix I had to put off my hunger..... I was a little dissapointed. Plus, no flowers and no card.
As the day went on, I was determined to put my dissapointment behind me. I figured surely my husband would make up for it later that day. So we eventually got out of the house to pick up an item, and afterwards my husband asked me where did I want to go to eat since it was Mothers Day. So we went to one restaurant, but once I saw it I changed my mind. So, my husband took me to another, but the line was out the door. He said, "ohh H-- no" and turned around the car, without even asking my input.
So we ended up driving around a total of 2 hrs b/c he didn't want to go where I wanted to eat. Then we got into an argument and I finally yelled at him, "It's Mothers Day!! Not what you want to do day!!" I told him to take me home. I was so upset, I was in tears. He wouldn't even let me listen to the radio station I wanted to.
As we pull into our neighborhood, about to be home, my husband turned the car around and took me to the place I wanted to eat. He also turned to the station I wanted to listen to. Then he admits that he forgot today was Mothers Day, and that this past week he was thinking it was the next weekend, and he planned taking me to the spa. He didn't realize he was wrong until late last night, that is why he didn't get me anything. Though I was still somewhat pissed, it at least made me feel better that he finally told the truth.
We arrived to the restaurant, and as we are standing in line, he asks me what do I really want to do. I told him that all I want is to get food to-go, go home, watch a movie, and spend the rest of the day with my family. So, that is what we did, and it was better than the cheesiest Hallmark card you can buy.
Looking back, I really had a good day. No, I didn't have the picture perfect day that you see on t.v., but I had a wonderful evening with my husband and baby. And even though my husband "had his dates mixed up" I know he means well. But he still owes me a facial!
So, when my husband woke up two hours after me, refused to help get the baby dressed, and my breakfast consisted of a bowl of dry Kix I had to put off my hunger..... I was a little dissapointed. Plus, no flowers and no card.
As the day went on, I was determined to put my dissapointment behind me. I figured surely my husband would make up for it later that day. So we eventually got out of the house to pick up an item, and afterwards my husband asked me where did I want to go to eat since it was Mothers Day. So we went to one restaurant, but once I saw it I changed my mind. So, my husband took me to another, but the line was out the door. He said, "ohh H-- no" and turned around the car, without even asking my input.
So we ended up driving around a total of 2 hrs b/c he didn't want to go where I wanted to eat. Then we got into an argument and I finally yelled at him, "It's Mothers Day!! Not what you want to do day!!" I told him to take me home. I was so upset, I was in tears. He wouldn't even let me listen to the radio station I wanted to.
As we pull into our neighborhood, about to be home, my husband turned the car around and took me to the place I wanted to eat. He also turned to the station I wanted to listen to. Then he admits that he forgot today was Mothers Day, and that this past week he was thinking it was the next weekend, and he planned taking me to the spa. He didn't realize he was wrong until late last night, that is why he didn't get me anything. Though I was still somewhat pissed, it at least made me feel better that he finally told the truth.
We arrived to the restaurant, and as we are standing in line, he asks me what do I really want to do. I told him that all I want is to get food to-go, go home, watch a movie, and spend the rest of the day with my family. So, that is what we did, and it was better than the cheesiest Hallmark card you can buy.
Looking back, I really had a good day. No, I didn't have the picture perfect day that you see on t.v., but I had a wonderful evening with my husband and baby. And even though my husband "had his dates mixed up" I know he means well. But he still owes me a facial!
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